The golden rules of “just asking”…

Just ask the right question to get what you want!

Be blunt and ask openly!

The majority of people simply don’t ask for what they want, with the hardly surprising result that they don’t get it!
You can and should ask bluntly and openly in the most appropriate and respectful way!
Asking puts you in the driving seat of your destiny!
The moment you ask, you dramatically increase the odds in your favour!

What can I do differently?

It isn’t just the questions we ask others that can have the biggest influence over our lives, but those we ask ourselves!
The single most important business and personal question that you should be asking is:
What can I do differently?
Always be prepared to ask, what you can I do differently?

Don’t assume the answer will be “no”!

If you don’t ask, you will certainly not get what you want!
Ignore the… excuses for your own lack of technique, comfort, or fear about asking the question… and just ask!
To assume makes an ASS our of U and ME! Assumption is the enemy of success!

What’s the worst that can happen?

Ask yourself these three questions (write the answers down):
1. What is the worst that can happen if I get a “no”?
2. What is the best that can happen if I get a “yes”?
3. Do the benefits of getting a “yes” outweigh the downsides of getting a “no”?
It usually cost nothing to ask!

Think big – ask the impossible!

The more attractive something is, the fewer the people there will be who have the personal courage to ask for! Be one of the few who ask! You might be surprised and get what you want!

Ask a cheeky question!

The more outrageous the question, the more likely you are to get an unexpected “yes” in reply!
Ask a cheeky question!

Always ask for the price you deserve!

The business world is littered with organizations that have consistently underachieved because of their fear of asking for higher prices!
It is just possible that what you perceive you are selling is not the same as what the other party perceives it is buying!

If at first you don’t succeed, ask in a different way!

Do you know what holds you back ore than anything else?
What holds you back is your failure to ask for what you want… and your failure to ask for what you want again if you didn’t get the answer you wanted first time around!
Understand and accept that a “no” in response to a question framed in a particular way at one point in time doesn’t mean that it will be a “no” forever!
What you need to do is to ask yourself two key questions:
1. Why did I get a “no”?
2. How can I ask differently?

Once you have a “yes” stop asking!

Once you have had a “yes”, shut up and be pleased!

Don’t ask for permission if you’re going to do it anyway!

There are times when you need to have a common sense and discretion to know not to ask at all, and instead just do something!
Ask yourself these questions:
1. If I ask permission, might they say “no”?
2. Would I do it anyway?
If the answer to both of these questions is “yes”, and the consequences of doing it are non-existence, then don’t ask at all. Just do it!

Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

Sometimes providing personal details can carry such a tremendous amount of
influence that the person you are “just asking” feels compelled not only to say “yes”, but also to offer even more than you were initially after.
Sometimes it pays to ask and give all the details!

Understand the “some of the time” concept!

The techniques of “just ask”… won’t work all the time but they do work “some of the time”… increase the frequency of the “some of the times”… don’t give up asking again for other things in the future.

Ask for explanation!

You have more to fear from making a decision based on lack of understanding than from being regarded as a fool by the person you are dealing with! So… admit your lack of knowledge and ask for explanation!

Ask for the reaction you want!

People don’t necessarily ask for the reaction they want. Ask for what the person is really after.
Be precise at the outset and state exactly what it is you are after. Don’t ever get frustrated about a person’s inability to read your mind!

Build rapport!

A person is much more likely to agree to your favour if they like you.
If you want to ask someone a favour, try to build rapport with them first!

Narrow down your questions!

If you want to get a proper answer from someone, narrow down your questions and focus on something specific to which there is an answer!
Narrow down your question and you’ll get a mote productive answer!

How does the other party benefit?

Ask yourself: What is the benefit to the other person giving me what I want?
If there isn’t any obvious benefit for the other person, try to think of something before you ask.
People like to be valued… doing good deeds for someone else… always preface your question with something that indicates you are really going to appreciate the gesture.
Always ask yourself first, how does the other person benefit?

Say what you mean – don’t hold back!

Ask for precisely what you want!

Adopt the “How can I…?” mindset!

Exchange your “I can’t” response / mindset for the question: “How can I…”?
This approach will get your thinking of options and methods to overcome whatever obstacles you claimed were holding you back.

What’s the most obvious solution?

Sometimes the answer to a problem or issue is so obvious that we miss it.
Ask yourself: What’s the most obvious solution? And than act on it!

If you want a different answer ask a different person!

If you don’t like the answer you have been given, it’s ok to ask someone else. There are many reasons why a second person might give you a different answer from the first.
Ask yourself: Who else in the organisation can I ask, who might give me the answer I want?

Prepare to be asked!

Before entering certain situations (e.g. interview, business meeting,…), ask yourself: What question am I likely to be asked, and how can I best answer them?
Make a list of them and plan how you would deal with them in advance!

Ask someone who knows the answers!

There will be hundreds of situations in all aspects of your life where you will have to do things, go to places or make decisions based on what you know. By asking others who have faced these things before, who have greater experience or greater knowledge than you, you increase your chances of getting things right.
Always ask yourself: Who knows the answer, or has the experience?

Ask questions “outside the box”!

Sometimes we do things and take certain decisions in life simply because it is the expected and normal thing to do… sometimes standing back and challenging the norm can pay real dividends.
There will be times when you should ask yourself the question:
I know this is what most people do in these sort of situations, but is it the best way forward or is there a different approach?
The mere act of asking this question may trigger a different thought pattern, and qualitatively better results.

If someone asks you for help, put yourself out!

How willing you are to give others your
time, advice, contacts and to create opportunities for them when you’re asked to do so? You never know when you might meet them again.

Be gentle – ask questions sensitively!

Questions aren’t simply a way of obtaining information, or getting something you want. They also have the power to change the way people feel. Questions influence what people focus on, and their mood, so be careful what to ask!
At its simplest, asking a positive question will someone search for a positive response and attach good feelings… ask them a negative question and you force the brain to search for negatives.
Be kind! Ask yourself first how this question is going to make someone feel. If it’s going to make someone feel good, ask it. If not, don’t bother, unless you deliberately want to force someone to focus on the negatives!

Source: Just ask the right question to get what you want, by Ian Cooper (XXX)