“The Technology of Questions™”
The power of influence!
Questions exert a greater level of influence than anything else. Ask someone a question and it forces them to focus on that issue! Whenever possible, don’t tell, but ask!
Ask the right person!
Who is the best person to ask? Always choose the person who is most likely to give you the response you want.
Ask at the right time!
When’s the best time to do the asking? If you want to be sure of the answer you want, then pick the right moment to ask!
Ask in the right environment!
Where is the best place to do the asking?
Who should do the asking?
Am I the best person to do the asking? Who might be better than me at getting the desired outcome?
Ask someone what they would do?
Have you ever been in a situation where you have asked a question but you can’t get a strait answer out of someone? Ask the person what they would do (if they were you / if it were their problem /…)! Ask the person what they would do!
Change a negative into a positive!
If you hear “I can’t…” try asking a question that begins with: If you were able to…? Or: How can we / you…? These questions change the listener’s focus of thinking, encourage solutions, not objection.
How can I find out?
If you hear “I don’t know…” try asking a question that begins with: I wonder if you can help me to find out…? Asking how you can find out is a powerful tool!
Answer a question with a question!
Answering a question with another question is a powerful tool to take back control of the dialogue: e.g.: Do you mind me asking, what exactly do you mean by…? Your question has put you back in control and you will most likely gain more information to enable you to frame a proper answer.
Make someone more receptive to your questions!
Most of us are preconditioned to respond in certain ways to certain communication triggers. Here are some “softeners and triggers” making you’re listener more receptive:
- Asking for help! e.g.: Excuse me. I wonder if you could help me?
- Apologizing first! e.g.: I am really sorry to disturb you, but do you mind if I ask you a question?
- Pre-framing your question with “I know…”! e.g.: I know this sound like an odd question, but…?
- Asking for permission! e.g.: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Ask “choice” questions!
If you ask a question and then offer two choices, in most cases people almost feel compelled to choose from the two on offer. You can:
- Offering two choices, but framing one of them I a language that, if chosen, will enable the person to either “feel good” or “avoid hassle”: The “feel good” or “no hassle” technique!
- Ask a question that gives a limited number of choices to consider / narrow down the options. Most people simply choose those options on offer. Ask “alternative positives”!
- Allow others to choose from a wide list of options – but phrase the question in such way as to limit the responses to those that would be good for you (e.g. What are the three most valuable things you have…?)!
- Ask a question offering positive alternative choices – avoid multiple negative choices!
Get people to ask what you want to ask them!
If you want someone to ask you a question, ask them the same question first!
If you want to talk to someone about a topic ask them about it!
Ask a “because” question!
The simple use of the word “because” will often trigger an unconscious reaction in someone to believe that there is a reason why they are being asked to do something. The most of us have an automatic reflex to say “yes” or to behave in a specific way if there is a reason!
Get a better price just by asking!
Everyone likes a bargain… all you need to do is ask for one! What can worst happen? You’ll get a “no” and the price stays the same. What’s the best than can happen? You get a bargain!
The big question is, how do you ask? Offer a benefit to the other person in return for giving a discount, or give a reason why you’re asking! You tone is important, too… be sincere, calm, friendly and confidently appreciative.
Ask a question that prompts the answer you want!
Asking questions that instantly alter the focus of the person you are talking to… at the very least, it makes it harder for them to turn you down: ask a question that “jumps” a stage, and actually presupposes that you have already had a positive response, e.g. not: do you want to meet to discuss this? But: When are you free to meet to talk this through?
Don’t frame your question negatively!
A positive question will always score over a negative one! The key is to pose your question in such a way as to almost make the person you are asking want to say “yes”!
How much time do you have?
To ask this question could help you to maximize your performance and results in business meetings, and it could simply save you massive amounts of time.
Ask questions that give praise and build rapport!
Genuine praise and compliments are always appreciated and, provided they’re given sincerely and in context, they are a great tool for building rapport! When you frame it as a question you influence them into giving a proper response, which invariably leads to a positive conversation about “them”. This conversation will enable you to build rapport! Ask yourself how you can do it as a question?
Invite yourself into a conversation!
If someone wants to know the price, ask for advice or help you can use the following technique:
Demonstrate interest (e.g. I am happy to explain you… / I hear you are really upset…),
show you want to know more about the requirement and ask for permission to ask questions (e.g. before I/you/we get into details… can I take a few minutes just to understand… This way I can give you the best possible price/help/…).
That will give you the chance to build up a bit of rapport and have differentiated yourself from others.
Sow seeds of doubt!
Have ever been in a situation where, in your opinion, someone you care about is on the point of making a bad decision? With the SSOD technique you can, without arguing, or even telling someone that you thing he is wrong, made him rethink the situation for himself!
SSOD it! Sow Seeds Of Doubt!
- Align with their position! See it from their point of view!
- Tell them you are going to ask questions… which will help them definitely make their minds up!
- Ask them SSOD™ it’ questions! Pose a series of questions that you know will sow seeds of doubt in their mind. The best types of questions to ask are those to which they have to respond “I don’t know” or “no”. The more “nos” and “don’t knows” you get, the better!
If you want to influence someone to your way of thinking, ask “SSOD™ it’ questions!
Ask for the business!
If you are in a selling situation and you don’t actually ask outright for the business, don’t be surprised if you don’t get it! So be specific and simply ask outright for the business!
Ask questions which make it easy for someone to say “yes”!
If you want to ask for something, consciously consider asking for a “small” something first that makes it easy tor the other person to say “yes”. This technique can make it easy for you to ask and, potentially, almost impossible for the other person to turn you down.
Would it be helpful if…?
Would it be helpful to have a technique that almost locked the person you are asking into giving “yes” as an answer? All you have to do is to ask “Would it be helpful if…?” followed by something that you know with reasonable certainty would be.
What do I have to do to change your mind?
There will still be situations where, no matter what you do, the answer is still “no”! Simply try asking: What do I have to do to change you mind and get you to say “yes”?
Sometimes they will tell you exactly what you need to do, and the ball is at least back in your court!
Source: Just ask the right question to get what you want, by Ian Cooper (XXX)
[...] see also my blog enries: The golden rules of “just asking”… part 1 and part 2 [...]